Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
503

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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by boo_boo_kitty | SAN ANTONIO, TX
Jul 10, 2019

I personally never take home leftovers unless the host tells me to take some home. And no cell phones at dinner or other meals at all.

by Ladygem616 | FT LAUDERDALE, FL
Jul 10, 2019

I totally agree with these.

by Marie12345 | DALLAS, GA
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with all of these except #`1. It depends on the event/situation.

by ladywolf19791 | COLLEGE STA, TX
Jul 10, 2019

I think the answers to all of these questions are spot on. Everyone tends to "forget" how to behave.

by ToriLong | LOUISVILLE, KY
Jul 10, 2019

Why do some people think it's acceptable to not have plus ones for all guests at a wedding? Isn't that going to make the wedding uncomfortable for their supposed friends?

by suemaggie7 | DANVERS, MA
Jul 10, 2019

Thank you notes are not necessary but they show how polite and thankful someone is. A phone call to a parent is o.k. but when a friend or an Aunt sends you a gift a thank you note makes their day. It shows that someone took the time to thank you for the gift. I brought my children up to send thank you notes as my mom brought me up, they send thank you notes for everything. I have sent gifts and have actually not known if the person received it because I didn't get a gift. Phones should be on vibrate at dinner!!

by ToriLong | LOUISVILLE, KY
Jul 10, 2019

I don't like going in on gifts for that reason. Give something you can afford. Honestly, I would rather give money they can use towards a gift than end up with a messy situation of people wanting to pay later or not have their date pay etc.

by jterrock | Columbia, MO
Jul 10, 2019

How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it? I simply just take myself out of it without saying anything. I don't think they would even notice!

by Justmissash | CLATSKANIE, OR
Jul 10, 2019

I agree wholeheartedly with the above. Etiquette is getting lost and I try to abide by these and teach my kids too as well. Technology is great but we should still follow personal etiquette and be respectful of others and our quality time.

by jalapenomama | SAINT CLOUD, MN
Jul 10, 2019

Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends? Yes without a doubt.

by SunnySideUp | Parkton, MD
Jul 10, 2019

Spot on!

by 2kitties | olathe, KS
Jul 10, 2019

Yes, thank you notes still need to be sent. If I don't receive one for a gift I've given then it influences whether or not I give one to that person in the future! High school grads have been bad at this.

by njf288 | campbell, OH
Jul 10, 2019

Is it proper etiquette to take a gift from a man even if you are married?

by njf288 | campbell, OH
Jul 10, 2019

I do believe in etiquette too many are lacking in it

by angiesangle | VANCOUVER, WA
Jul 10, 2019

I agree with most of them - but for the leftovers 99% of the time the host does not want all the extra food around, they'd much rather you take them back.

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